Do I really see them for who they are? Do I accept everything that makes up these unique creatures? Not really. I want to fix, recommend, change this and that. Certain bits aren’t quite what I think they should be. I am their Mother. Of course I know what’s best for them, right? My filters, my stories, my arrogance, my attachment to what I believe to be best and right for them. Is that truly, genuinely, loving these souls that were gifted to me?
Am I not simply projecting everything that is not right in me onto them? Isn’t that voice that missiles towards them, simply my self-sabotaging voice, afraid to face me square on about my own insecurities and self-worth?
Truly loving myself means accepting all my broken bits, all the injuries, with tenderness, compassion and deep understanding. We learn this on our yoga mat. We know yoga means to yoke, to unite, to bring together our bodies, minds and spirit as we meet all the different parts of ourselves on the mat. We learn to embrace and accept and be patient and non-judgmental when the heels just never want to reach the floor in downward dog, or the pelvis will forever need a blanket under it for dandasana. We integrate the parts that work with the parts that don’t quite work as well, to create a whole, a oneness, as we move through the postures.
Why is it hard then, to take what we learn on our mats, and integrate it into our everyday life, not only into our mind, but deep into our core? If I can’t and don’t then yoga is just another form of exercise rather than a way forward to finding acceptance, understanding, compassion, tenderness and yes, joy, for all the bits and bobs that make up the whole of me. And in gathering up all the pieces, especially my broken bits, into one imperfectly perfect human, I think I will finally, truly love.
Return to Blog Page
